I won't let you close enough to hurt me...

For me the past couple of days have been hard. Yesterday I spent the day lounging in the obscure heat with a picnic in honour of one of my close friends who sadly is leaving us. It was a brilliant way to say goodbye, and I'm convinced the goodbye is not forever, but you never really understand how much people play an important part in your life until they're gone and it's too late.

Also today I woke up, positive today would be another well-spent day. My mood was quickly ruined however by some a very stressing discovery. I don't really want to talk about the details as most of you who read this blog will probably know something about them. I just felt like saying, I feel completely let down by those who I put my faith in and trusted. By nature I'm a pretty anxious person and the news I've had today will probably bug me until everything has been outlined clearly. I'm so sick of things like this happening. Honestly, it can really make you realise just how precarious situations in life can be. Really hope things will be sorted soon, because if they are not, life will continue to go on...after all isn't life rather like a show where all the men and women are players?  I will but on my brave face and as usual if someone says "How are you?"
I'll place on that fake persona and reply "I'm fine thank you, yourself?"
At least if things don't work out as I want them to I will still have those amazing friends with me whatever happens, and their company I shall be glad of.

Sorry for this gloomy post.  I'll probably talk about one of the things I'm getting really into at the moment...
Astronomy and Cosmology.

I've been reading Wonders Of The Universe by Professor Brian Cox this holiday and its so inspiring. Seriously, I'm taking physics next year and this part of it excites the inner nerd in me. The universe is just so fascinating, reading about how rocks also have tides, the first space flights, how weight changes even of earth, and the false dawn make you contemplate just how vastly complex this universe can be. Additionally every time I try to think how vast space is my mind struggles to even imagine it, whilst causing me to recognise just how small we are in comparison to the solar system, milky way galaxy, the local group, and the universe. Perhaps human minds were never designed to envision these great scales...but that does not stop us trying. I seriously would love to get into astrophysics someday...unfortunately I'm not confident in my maths therefore I believe it would be a difficult struggle.
A quote from Carl Sagan at the back of this book sums up my feelings on both life and the cosmos, both with complex structures in their own right.

"Somewhere, something incredible is waiting to be known."- Carl Sagan 

Hubble Deep Space Image

"

I didn't realise how bittersweet this could be.

Yesterday it was prom. The day I'd spent ages planning all the minute details for, looking forwards to it in the midst of exam season, researching possible hairstyles and make up ideas. Initially I didn't think I'd make prom out to be a big deal, but now I have realised its importance to me. This event fulfilled a part of me which secretly longs to dress myself up and pretend that there is nothing else of greater importance in my life, almost transporting me back to the ideas of historical court balls and such...I've been reading too much historical fiction recently. In addition it provided another excuse to celebrate with my truly wonderful best friends the end of an era, the beginning of a new one and the continuation of lasting friendship into the future.

It still hasn't hit me yet that this event was to mark the end of my years at Belvoir. I'm still not convinced inside that it is the end... I just can't imagine a different atmosphere next year, but I know I must. For me I guess when it will hit me is exam results day on the 25th August, because everything will have fallen into place, some people I will never see again and for some of them I won't really care, but then there are those who have always been there like background noise even if I did not know them well, providing some structure and regularity to proceedings each and every day for five years.

Prom was simply amazing. I only wished it had lasted so much longer, truly this was one of the few parties that I wish could have continued right into the early hours of the morning, as suddenly the lethargy of the days before disappeared, I felt incredible surrounded by the people who have helped to make my life so brilliant at the moment and everyone looked so stunning! My only regret for the night was that I didn't take money for a professional photograph, as our picture was truly beautiful...oh well, I'll have to get the photos I took printed off to keep them somewhere safe and special. It's not often I feel confident, but last night I got up and danced, took photos, smiled and laughed...I'm not used to such magical moments...

Anyway, enough waffle from me, I know you're secretly just wanting pictures :)

Ellen, Me and Charlie before we went to prom. Don't they just look so gorgeous!

Back of my dress and hair.

Front of dress and hair complete with tiara :) Thank you so much to my mother for making me this dress, it is simply lovely and felt so special. I hated when I had to take it off when I got home, near broke my heart. Also thank you to my mother for surprising me the day before prom by buying me that beautiful bag to match. If you haven't guessed I love my Mum she is simply wonderful and talented in so many ways.

The girles- Alice, Charlie, Me and Ellen

Sim Sim and me.

Again the simply gorgeous people I have met in my time at Belvoir.
Ellen, Me, Sarah, Charlie, Alice

Please don't drive me blind.

3 more exams to go then summer. That's about all that keeps me going when I'm buried beneath heaps of simultaneous equations, trigonometry, fomulae and everything else I despise about maths. Oh and I need to get back to some geography soon!

I'm already looking forwards to next friday when I shall be able to say I never have to take a maths exam ever again. On a side note, I've also painted my nails a TARDIS blue in preparation for the mid-series finale of Dr Who on Saturday, also to test out the nail polish for prom. I really like it, so it may just be staying a while :)

As for prom dress progress, it's going really well. My dress is nearly done, boning has been put in place for support, detailing added, lining put in and I've tried it on to ensure a nice fit. All that's left is to add the bow, find shoes and jewellery and learn how to apply make-up to the desired effect of a smoky-eye. I've never been one for finding make-up easy to apply. I'm not posting pictures just yet because I don't want to ruin the surprise just yet :D

That's about it for today. I have nothing more of much interest to say!
Allons-y Alonso.